A long time ago, a Facebook post about “things court reporters overheard” started making its way around. We saw this and immediately recognized it as fake. Things like that don’t get said in open court. We did, however, talk to some of our lawyers and our colleagues, and collected some pretty funny stories that we know for a fact have actually happened — because they happened to us. Family court gets pretty weird, and these stories prove it. Enjoy.
- A man in a child support case refused to walk through the swinging door to approach the judge. When asked why, he claimed it was because by walking through the door, he was consenting to the Court’s jurisdiction (this is false) which he challenged. After stating this in open court, the man’s mother stood up from her seat and literally dragged him out of the courtroom. Nobody ever found out how that ended.
- Often times, a litigant will go on a tangent about their ex being this, that, or the other thing. A few judges have begun telling them “Yes, I get it. That’s why you’re getting a divorce. Please get to the point.”
- I once told a client that it would be okay because she would be getting her “day in court.” She asked me “I really have to be in court all day?”
- A man about to be arrested for non-payment of child support suddenly burst out of the courtroom. After making it to the hallway, he switched shirts with his friend outside — who had no knowledge of the incident. The bailiff confused the two, and promptly arrested the friend, because of the shirt.
- A litigant told the judge “Your honor, I’m taken aback by what [the attorney] just said.” The judge replied “I’m not really interested in what you’re taken aback by. Now answer the question.”
- In a Grandparents Visitation case, the grandfather got so mad at his son that he took out his cane and hit him across the head right there in court.
Emotions can run hot in any sort of family law case. If you can’t take time to laugh, though — you’ll end up crying. It’s good to take a moment during a divorce or custody hearing and just smile a little bit.
Divorce doesn’t have to be a war. You deserve an attorney who can treat your case with a measure of respect and care. Use our Contact Us page to talk with a lawyer who can handle your divorce the right way.