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It’s inevitable that at some point during your divorce, something’s going to slip out of your mouth that you’ll wish never did. No matter how much you try to cram it back in there, the words are out and you can’t do anything about it. It’s best to avoid mistakes like these before they happen.

5. “You’ll never see your kids again!”

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This phrase is the divorce nuclear option. Even if you think it’s necessary, the fallout will irradiate the land for generations to come. This sentence should never be uttered. At all. There’s never any reason to threaten your ex with never seeing their kids; especially since this is not a card you have in your deck. It’s not up to you, you have no power to do this, and it’s ultimately up to the judge. You also cannot distort or fabricate facts just to keep your ex away from their kids — it’s simply illegal.


4. “I’ll take you for every cent you’ve got!”

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First of all, no you won’t.  That is absolutely not how divorce works by any stretch of the imagination. There’s no amount of litigation that can send your ex out of the courtroom wearing nothing but a barrel. Firing off this empty threat is a really great way to make your ex angry, which in turn makes you angry, which then makes them angry, which culminates in your kids crying. Division of assets in a divorce is based on a lot of “best interest” factors, and is not and has never been punitive.


3. “I’m going to expose you for the cheater you are!”

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Putting energy into proving adultery during your divorce is like multiplying zeroes. No matter how angry you are about where your ex did it and with whom, it honestly doesn’t make a bit of difference in the long run. Proving adultery is seriously hard to do and a judge barely even takes it into consideration. They’ll just assume that’s probably why you’re getting divorced and move along to what solution will be in yours and your child(ren)’s best interest. Divorce proceedings are (supposed to be) a civil matter, and do not include punitive measures.


2. “My lawyer will destroy you!”

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Don’t let your divorce attorney hear you saying that, unless you want a stern talking-to about boundaries. Contrary to what you see on television, family law attorneys are not in this to “destroy” anyone. If you go into their office and ask to destroy your ex, you’ll get a cup of coffee and an explanation of how this actually works. If you tell your ex that your lawyer will destroy them, they’ll probably tell their lawyer to destroy you back, and then both lawyers who probably know each other and are friends — will do nothing of the sort. Divorce is a civil action, not a civil war.


1. “I’ll get even with that [expletive]!”

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How about you don’t? You’re already retaining a divorce attorney, but that doesn’t mean you get a discount on a criminal defense attorney as well. There’s no BOGO in the legal field.  When you let this sentence come off your lips, you’re opening up a world of trouble, because what you’re about to do is likely both immoral and illegal. Not only that, but if you go exacting revenge, this is going to come back to bite you in court. You will appear unstable and your case for custody of the children will be irrevocably damaged.


Divorce is a difficult time that must be approached a certain way. Use our Contact Us page to speak with an attorney who can help you handle your divorce the right way, and keep you from making bad mistakes.

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