When you’re going through your divorce, choosing your battles will save a lot of time, heartache, and ultimately money. How can you make your divorce less stressful by letting things slide? By ignoring landmines like these.
Adultery is bad and you shouldn’t commit it. However, it’s not something you really need to put a lot of time and energy into during your divorce. Unless there’s a tape or something, it’s really, really, really hard to prove adultery. Even then, there’s not a whole lot of benefits to proving it. Tell a judge your ex cheated on you and that basically just explains why you’re getting divorced. When it comes to spousal support, that’s determined by economic factors. Child support and custody is determined based on the best interest of the child(ren). Proving to the courts that your ex was a two-timing slimeball doesn’t change enough to make it worth your while.
4. Specific Items Of Property
If we’re talking about your grandmother’s ring she wore on the boat over from the Old Country, or your father’s war medals — that’s different. These are items with sentimental value and your ex is really just being petty about it. You also should give them some slack on their sentimental items. However, it’s not worth a screaming match and motion in the court to determine ownership of the 40″ plasma TV. As nice as that TV might be, you can buy another TV. You can also buy another couch. Or, if you have the TV, your ex can have the couch. It’s not that hard to divvy up property, and you have to remember — it’s just stuff. Stuff isn’t worth fighting over.
3. Who The Kids Love More
It’s really bizarre, but couples will go head-to-head with each other over this during a divorce. Proving which one the children loves more becomes a pointless obsession. You both love your child(ren) and you’re both their parents. Trying to tell your ex the kids don’t like spending time with them, or say they’d rather stay with you — makes no sense. Hammer out a custody arrangement that acknowledges both of you as parents and focuses on what’s important — the kids. Don’t waste time arguing over who’s a better parent. You’re both great.
2. Something You Heard From Your Friend’s Cousin’s Coworker’s Roommate
People love drama for some reason. It keeps Hollywood in business, but it makes your divorce into complete anarchy. You’re going to hear people tell you your ex did this, your ex did that, they heard this, they saw that… and it’s all poppycock. Focus on just the basics of your divorce: that it’s happening, the numbers, and any kids involved. That’s it! It does not matter what you saw on Facebook and it doesn’t matter what Jane told Tonya when she saw Kayla over at Tamika’s place. Just keep your eyes on the road, and remember your divorce doesn’t have to be long division.
1. New Stuff Your Ex Bought
Yes, your ex just copped a new Apple Watch and put a down payment on a Fiat. So what? In the end, when it comes to spousal support and child support, the court will look at everything and hand down a reasonable number based on their formulas. If your ex is on Instagram showing off their new Burberry suit while you’re feeding the kids Ramen noodles — it makes your ex kind of a jerk, but it’s nothing to get stressed over. Let them be a jerk, and rely on the fact that numbers never lie and the courts will have your back.
Divorce is never an easy time. It can be scary, confusing, stressful, and full of emotions. You deserve an attorney that will handle this time with care, respect, and sensitivity. Use our Contact Us form to speak with a lawyer who can guide you through your divorce the right way.