It’s the goal of any couple going through a divorce. They want things to be peaceful and stress-free. If they say they don’t, they’re lying to you, themselves, or both. That being true, how do you make something like that happen?
5. Choose Your Battles
When things start getting heated, it’s a great time to stop and ask yourself “Why am I arguing about this?” and “What is it I hope to achieve?” There’s things worth fighting about, and there’s things you need to just let go. You want to stand your ground when it comes to certain financial matters, parts of the custody agreement, and a few other things. When it comes to property, who-said-what, or things like that… be like Elsa and let it go.
4. At Least Make The Effort To Try And Respect Your Ex
Yes, it feels like you’re screaming at a wall, but you’ve got to at least try to act like you’re pretending to respect them. You never hear anyone say how persuaded they were by how you being a jerk to them. If you want your ex to treat you like your opinion matters, it helps if you do the same. You may not want to be married to them for much longer, but that doesn’t mean you can’t treat them like an adult. It may drive you insane to be nice to them, but it pays off in the long run.
3. Skip The Pauper Act And Be Realistic About Money
It sounds odd, but in a divorce, you need to be realistic about money. Studies show that the biggest cause of arguments in a marriage is, shocker, money. Odds are that before you decided to get divorced, there were arguments about money. That means you know darn well how much money your ex has or does not have, and they can say the same for you. You can demand this and that out of them, but if they don’t have it they don’t have it. Acting like you’re destitute when you’re in court won’t help either, because your ex can easily refute that — and the game’s afoot. Cut out a lot of stress by being honest with each other and yourself about how much you have, need, and can give. Especially when your kids are involved.
2. Keep Your Eye On The Ball
There’s things in your divorce that you absolutely need to worry about, and plenty of them. However, there’s things that are distractions and have no bearing on your case whatsoever and exist merely to trip you up. We talk about adultery all the time and how it’s pointless to even bring up. It’s absurdly difficult to prove, and even if you do, nobody cares. It won’t change a thing. The judge doesn’t particularly care why you’re getting divorced (except in cases of domestic violence), just that everyone’s taken care of. The rule of thumb is that you worry only about the things that affect your day-to-day needs being met, and treat everything else as a distraction.
1. Let Go Of The Anger. All Of It. Just Let It Go.
Yoda had a point when he told Luke Skywalker that anger is a path to the Dark Side. It’s true. If you run your divorce from a place of anger, you’re going to have distorted vision, and likely end up saying some stuff you don’t mean. Stuff you can’t take back, and will make your case all kinds of harder. Getting angry won’t make the divorce go any faster. You’ll get divorced soon enough, and surprise surprise — it’s a pretty straightforward thing. Let go of the anger and you’ll start making the practical decisions you need to make.
Divorce isn’t easy, and you deserve an attorney who can treat this difficult time with the care, support, and respect. Use our Contact Us form to speak to an attorney now.